Presumed funny celebrity statements

Bahia Honda Bridge, Florida (photo from

Should we build one like this from Canada to Australia? See below:

My Mom emailed me a list of funny statements. I have found at least one other version of each statement credited to the same person, prior to publishing. I desire to be fair. We all make incorrect and questionable statements at times. I am in no way verifying that the statements made were by the persons credited with making them. Some of the statements from the email I have already disqualified.


"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey

Notice how the issue almost immediately comes back to her weight. Can you reasonably imagine a commentator that would pour his/her heart out concerning the terrible issue of world starvation and then come back with a self-centred comment about his/her own desire to be thinner?

I know there are some Christians in Hollywood and in the New York media, but with statements like the above, it is no wonder why so many Christians look at Hollywood and the New York media in often negative terms. From a Christian perspective, feeding the poor should be a priority. From the New American Standard Bible, Proverbs 14:21 clause b, states that happy is he who is gracious to the poor.

'Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,' --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

Perhaps the thugs do not bother with the mugging or assault, they just go straight for the murder.

Charles Manson would be proud. Helter Skelter.

'We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need ?'
--Lee Iacocca

Perhaps, if Mr. Iacocca did make that statement, there should be a country, perhaps Greenland;), lead by him. In this country there would be no emissions standards and very little clean air. No offense to the people of Greenland; I enjoy flying over it on the way the United Kingdom.

'If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record.'
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

Wow, finally some good news for those suffering with heart problems! The government at work!

'Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas.'
--Keppel Enderbery

Hey, let us build a bridge, or under the ocean tunnel from Canada to Australia, and then we can state that the Australian imports from Canada are not coming from overseas...sort of.

'Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.'
--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina

Man, and that comment had to come from the South. Those people take enough abuse (often wrongly) concerning their intellect already.

'The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.'

--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

Too many shots to the head?

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