How do these people survive?
Note: Blogger spellchecker does not always work properly! It actually messes up some words! I had to republish this article as Blogger messed the original up.
July 1 and July 4 are gone for another year.
My birthday was yesterday. The fireworks were not for me.
The last two articles on this blog were time consuming, controversial, and blog trolled, and so I think this article will be short, sweet and entertaining, I hope.
I will not censor this blog of all potentially controversial material, however.
Bud Light 'Jammin'
My Mom sent this list to me by email:
How do these people survive?
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter. 'You don't?' I replied. 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply. 'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?' 'That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets (I'm gona try this.....)
Is the word dozen passé with the youngsters?
I was checking out at the local Woolworths with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today.' She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
Hey, I would like to know how much those dividers cost now. Perhaps I can purchase one and take it to every grocery store I visit.
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'
Yes, I pull cash out of my computer ATM all the time. I think this number three incident is misplaced and does not belong on this list. I do not go to my local bank anymore as I just use my computer ATM.
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I! should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?' Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked. 'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk..'
Does she stop watching her television when the batteries for the remote control run dry?
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do? Just use copier machine paper, the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies. Brunette, by the way!!
I hope that she was an exceptional typist.
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer.....' Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'
With the stories like this one, I realize why some suggest that potential parents should have to take a course and receive a licence before being allowed to have children.
I do not know if this story is fact or fiction, but I see it is on quite a few web pages. Theologically and practically I reason that parents should take the job of parenting very seriously. Parenting should not just be a result of unintentional procreation, but should consist of parents gaining knowledge in how to bring up their children in the best way possible. When Exodus 20: 12 tells one to honour your father and mother in order that your days be prolonged, this would largely require one's parents to possess a certain amount of common sense and wisdom that the mother in the story lacked. It would be difficult for a child to honour foolish parents that do not lead them to a prolonged life.
With Spain winning the 2008 European Championships, they are now rated the #1 national soccer club in the world by FIFA and these dubious rankings. Brazil and Argentina fall down in the rankings just because they do not play in the European Championships, being South American teams. It is too difficult to properly rank almost two hundred national teams that do not play games regularly.
Fifa Rankings (previous position in brackets):
1. (4) Spain
2. (3) Italy
3. (5) Germany
4. (2) Brazil
5. (10) Netherlands
6. (1) Argentina
7. (15) Croatia
8. (6) Czech Republic
9. (11) Portugal
10. (7) France
11. (24) Russia
12. (12) Romania
13. (13) Cameroon
14. (20) Turkey
15. (9) England
16. (17) Scotland
17. (18) Bulgaria
18. (8) Greece
19. (14) Mexico
20 (16) Ghana
33. (32) Northern Ireland
41. (42) Rep of Ireland
54. (53) Wales
© 2008 The Irish Times
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