The most valuable sports teams (satirical look)



'No. 1 Manchester United

European Football

$1.8 billion

An annual powerhouse with a true global brand, Man-U fetched the highest price ever for a sports franchise when Malcolm Glazier forked over $1.45 billion for it in 2005.
Source: Forbes Sports Valuations'

I call myself a fan. From 1999-2001 I had home membership as I lived in Manchester. Thanks to my very good buddy Si, I managed to see United this year once again on my visit.

United has an excellent logo.

No offence to Vancouver Canucks fans, but it has been such a pleasure following United since 1999 with the two European Championships in that time and the several Premiership titles, I could not see myself ever getting too serious about the Vangoober (what it satirically sounded like when the NBA commissioner would pronounce Vancouver) Canucks and their hopefully successful quest to be a championship least once, once day. Somewhere, over the rainbow.

'No. 2 Dallas Cowboys


$1.6 billion

Owner Jerry Jones smartly broke away from the NFL merchandising collaboration several years ago, leaving the Cowboys to run their own league-leading operation. A new state-of-the-art stadium awaits for 2009, with a Personal Seat License (PSL) plan that could bring in upwards of $700 million. The rough economy--a naming rights deal still hasn't been done--may scale back expectations. But only so much.'

I dedicate this section to my Cowboy fan, virtual friend and excellent guy Wade at:

Cowboy Wade

Wade, I realize you are a very busy man with work, procreation and such, but here is your chance to tell us in comments why the Cowboys are Number 2. Please do my friend.

Hint, I have never seen the Cowboys play, but would like to.:)

'No. 3 Washington Redskins


$1.5 billion

Since taking over in 1999, owner Dan Snyder has had mixed results on the field. But he's turned the Redskins into the NFL's leading revenue machine through heavy marketing and by selling the naming rights to Jack Kent Cooke Stadium to FedEx. The stadium has sold out every game during its 12-year history.'

Go Washington Native Americans, go!

I have not seen them play live.

'No. 4 New England Patriots


$1.32 billion

New England's value has roughly tripled since 2000, following three Super Bowl titles and a 97-31 record over the past eight years. Seven-year-old Gillette Stadium includes 6,000 club seats and 87 luxury boxes.'

An undefeated season and then they lose the Super Bowl...OUCH! That is a kick in the patriots.

Very cool logo, in my opinion.

I have not seen them play live.

'No. 5 New York Yankees


$1.3 billion

Baseball's only billion dollar club benefits from its own cable network, huge market and storied history. No wonder the Yankees have made the only real noise around the league this winter, throwing more than $400 million at three premium free agents. The tight economy may have the team scrambling to sell the last few luxury boxes at the new Yankee Stadium for 2009, but expect the place to be a revenue machine over the long haul.'

I saw the Yankees live at the Bronx in 2002 and my English friend Robin wanted to leave early. Like hell!

I am sorry that New York did not have a major cricket club.

'No. 6 Real Madrid

European Football

$1.29 billion

A winner of nine European Championship Cups, Real Madrid rakes in close to half a billion dollars in annual revenue. Its 62-year-old stadium--Santiago Bernabéu--has been heavily renovated over the years, with capacity trimmed from a peak of 120,000 to 80,000. Like American baseball, European soccer is moving to a model that emphasizes revenue per seat over maximum attendance.'

I still need to see Real Madrid. Someone please invite me! Are there any English speaking theology professor jobs in the Madrid area?

'No. 7 Arsenal

European Football

$1.2 billion

The club founded in 1886 took in $329 million in revenue last year. Three-year-old Emirates Stadium, which seats over 60,000, includes 7,139 club level seats sold in one to four year licenses and over 150 boxes where seats start at $87,000 annually (65,000 euros). The naming rights deal with Emirate Airlines is worth $133 million (100 million euros) over eight years.'

I dedicate this section to Simon.

I had away membership to Arsenal (1999-2001) thanks to my good friend Simon. Simon, I know you are a busy cat, but this is your chance to light up the comments on Arsenal!

Simon, here is your opportunity to state Arsenal's case over the one that we do not dare Number One. I am a fan of Arsenal and hope for better things ahead.

'No. 8 New York Giants


$1.18 billion

No Super Bowl title this year, but personal seat license money is rolling in for the 2010 opening of the Giants' new stadium. Even with an NFL model that has the TV loot shared equally around the league, a big market has its advantages. The Giants' season-ticket waiting list is 25 years.'

I have not seen the Giants or Jets, but the new stadium sounds fascinating. But, I thought the New York Giants moved to San Francisco decades ago.

The Giants do have a cool look, admittedly.

'No. 9 New York Jets


$1.17 billion

Call them "Giants Lite." The Jets' have everything their stadium mates do, only with a little less history and brand strength.'

I thought the Jets left Winnipeg...oh well. The Jets do look cool in green.

If the Giants and Jets merged could the Jolly Green Giant be the logo? For a fee, of course.

'No. 10 Houston Texans


$1.17 billion

Surprised by this dark horse? Don't be. The 7-year-old franchise with a 46-72 record has the NFL's richest naming rights deal, pulling in $300 million from Reliant Stadium.'

So, Wade, I would like to see these guys too. Should we expect a 'Supa Bo' soon?

Hey, how come there are no NHL teams here?;) I thought NHL hockey was the 'best' and 'most exciting' sport...oh well. One thing I respect about the NFL is the desire to return teams to cities that lost a franchise.

So, I have viewed Manchester United, New York Yankees, and Arsenal live. Only three of the current top ten. I live an impoverished life.

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